Cadet Clarke
by foolsg-arden
Summary: Clarke has to navigate her way through a bland military school where everything is beige, her captain is a giant dick with a habit of breaking her things, her room mate is a fiery girl with a wicked sense of humour with no filter and a girl with piercing green eyes and a killer jawline. Or the Cadet Kelly!AU you didn't know you wanted. Also found on AO3
1. Chapter 1

"This is ridiculous." Clarke huffed from her spot in the back of the car, "Why do I even have to go to this stupid school?"

"It's the only one in the area, we've been over this Clarke." Abby sighed

"That doesn't explain why we're moving from New York, where I happen to go to one of the best art schools in the country on a full scholarship, to bumfuck nowhere with one dumbass school." Clarke grumbled

"Language, Clarke." Abby glanced at her daughter through the rear view mirror, "I understand that you're upset, Clarke, but I couldn't miss this opportunity. I will be head of the orthopaedic surgery department."

"And I'll be stuck learning military strategy. No doubt that's going to help me be an artist." Clarke rolled her eyes

"I promise we'll drive into the city every weekend you're allowed to visit." Abby promised

"I'm allowed to what?"

"Oh, the school is semi-boarding. You sleep there through the week and come home on the weekends."

"Are you seri- You know what? Fuck that. I may as well stay there on the weekend as well. At least I'll be away from you." Clarke jammed her headphones into her ears and glared out the window

* * *

"Everything is so… Nude." Clarke said, looking around the dorm

"Our rooms get checked every weekend and one or twice throughout the week on unscheduled days to make sure we're keeping everything regulation." Her roommate said, laying on her bed "I'm Octavia, by the way, Octavia Blake."

"Clarke Griffin." Clarke said, setting up a few canvases on her side of the dorm

"Wouldn't do that if I were you." Octavia said, "It's not regulation and Bellamy can be a real dick sometimes."

"Who?"

"Bellamy. He's my brother and our Captain." Octavia rolled her eyes, "He takes this shit real seriously so call him Captain Blake."

"Aten Hut." A deep voice called through the door before it banged open just after Octavia jumped to her feet with her back ram rod straight

Bellamy looked at his sister, a slight smile forming on his lips at her before he forced his face straight to look at her roommate who was currently rearranging canvases. Bellamy walked up behind her quietly, took one of the canvases off of the stand and put his knee through it

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I accidently put a hole in your crappy canvas?" Bellamy asked

"In my experience when someone puts their knee through something, it's rarely an accident and it wasn't crappy." Clarke huffed, putting her hands on her hips

"Well, it is now." Bellamy said, "Keep it out of my dorms."

"Why would you do something like that?" Clarke asked angrily, ignoring the look she was getting from Octavia

"Aw, did I hurt your feelings, Princess?" Bellamy asked with a fake pout, "Get that crap out of here. You're on my list, Princess."

"Well you'd be on mine if I had one." Clarke replied, smiling when she heard Octavia laugh

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Bellamy said, turning on his heel and leaving the dorm

"You're right, he is a dick." Clarke said to Octavia, "He needs to get laid."

"While that's gross because he's my brother, it is also very true." Octavia agreed, "Just don't piss him off, okay? Everyone on this floor will get punished."

"What do you mean?"

"Each floor is a different squadron, team, whatever. One person gets in trouble, we all do. Something about seeing friends get punished for your fault makes you not do it again or some shit. Basically, each floor has a different Captain who is in charge and we compete against each other in academics and in physical activities. We're Skaikru."

"So this is serious?" Clarke laughed, "That's so lame."

"Yeah, I know. Bell's a hardass because our floor never wins so he thinks if he's stricter we'll win."

"Can I move floors?" Clarke joked

"I wish." Octavia said, "Anyway, I'm meant to give you your schedule."

"What is all this shit? Are they aware that a day only has twenty-four hours, not fucking six hundred?"

"Oh my god," Octavia laughed, "Are you serious? Princess, Oh-Six-Hundred is six am."

"Our classes start at six am?"

"Technically, no. Bell makes us run drills from Oh-six-hundred to Oh-eight-hundred and our classes are at Oh-nine-hundred until Oh-sixteen-hundred. Then we have another hours' worth of drills and then dinner, showers and then down time in our dorms." Octavia explained, "You get used to it after a few weeks."

"Fucking hell." Clarke groaned, flopping down on her bed

"Might want to go to bed early tonight, we have the welcome back dance tomorrow and it is compulsory. Unless you get special permission from your Captain or whatever."

"Do we have to wear uniform?"

"Nah, you get to wear whatever you want."

* * *

"What the hell are you wearing?" Octavia laughed, looking Clarke up and down "We're running drills, not the fucking run way."

"These are my most sporty clothes." Clarke said

"You can borrow some of mine until you get your own." Octavia threw a pair of shorts and a singlet at her

"Yeah, because your clothes will fit." Clarke rolled her eyes but stripped down nonetheless

"Your ass would be grass if Bell knew you thought about wearing that get up." Octavia shrugged, "You don't look to bad. Kind of sexy, actually."

"I'm one inch away from having a muffin top." Clarke said with a raise eyebrow, "I'm surprised the singlet hasn't torn open at the chest."

"So it's a little tight," Octavia rolled her eyes, "You look good. Now let's go, we'll be late."

* * *

"Let's go, let's go, let's go." Bellamy shouted in her ear, making her grimace "You will run this course until you get it right."

"I can barely walk." Clarke complained

"But you can, so let's go." Bellamy shoved her forward and watched as Clarke stumbled over the tired, "Oh my god. You've managed to get even worse since this morning's drills."

"Because I'm fucking exhausted." Clarke's voice rose with her agitation, "I'm not a fucking slave."

"O." Bellamy shouted, waving Octavia over "You will stay with Princess until she gets the course right."

"Bell, that isn't fair." Octavia said, "I'm going to the dance with Lincoln tonight."

"Better hope she gets it right soon then." Bellamy said, "If she can't do it by tomorrow morning, weekend drills for the entire squadron."

"You're such a dick." Octavia huffed, "Okay, Princess. Come on."

"This is ridiculous." Clarke groaned

"Look, it isn't about speed or whatever. Not yet anyway. It's about technique, go slowly and breathe. If you do it once and properly in the two hours that we have it's better doing it a dozen times with shitty technique." Octavia explained and walked over to the tires, "Get your knees up as high as you can for these."

"You don't."

"Because I've been doing shit like this before I could talk." Octavia replied, "Just watch."

"You're really good at this." Clarke commented when Octavia finished the course

"Who knows, maybe your nickname will upgrade to Warrior Princess if you get half way to being decent. Just run the course, remember it's about technique not time."

"That was half way to being decent." Octavia said after Clarke's run, "One more time. Remember high knees, use your legs for strength not your arms and keep low."

"I hate you." Clarke puffed before hyping herself up for the last run

"That was decent." Octavia complimented, "We'll make a soldier after you yet, Griff."

"I'm going to have a shower." Clarke said, "Do we really have to go to the dance?"

"Nah, think of Bell making us do this as our permission not to go. I'm going to go see my boyfriend, go shower stinky ass. I'll see you later."

* * *

Clarke was humming a tune to herself as she walked into the dorm showers, not watching where she was going when she slammed into a hard body and was flung to the ground

"Ow, what the fuck?" Clarke groaned to herself, "Since when the fuck is there a wall there?"

"Not a wall." A soft voice said from above her

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Clarke jumped to her feet clumsily, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"It felt like a fly hit me." The girl said with a slight smirk

"You kn-"Clarke cut herself off when her eyes met piercing green with smudged eyeliner around them before trailing over high cheek bones and a sharp jawline, "Wow."

"What was that, Cadet?" The girl asked

"I'm, uh, I'm sorry." Clarke mumbled

"Are you okay?" The girl asked

"The only thing hurt is my pride." Clarke joked, "I'm Clarke."

"Nice to meet you, Clarke." The girl brushed passed Clarke with a smirk

"I didn't get your name." Clarke called after her

"I didn't give it." The girl called over her shoulder

* * *

"Octavia, you won't believ- Oh shit, sorry." Clarke turned on her heel and slammed the door, nearly dropping her towel in the process when she seen Octavia's lips locked with a particularly big guy with tattoos over his arms

"Fuck off, Princess." Octavia's voice sounded through the door

Clarke ruffled through her bag to try to find some clean clothes, only finding a second pair of Octavia's workout clothes she quickly changed in the hallway before walking back out of the building. Trying to think of somewhere to go Clarke shrugged and headed to running track to sit on the bleachers

"Knocking me down twice in one night, I might think you're just trying to get me on my back." Clarke joked, jumping up from the grass to face the girl from the shower

The girl slowly trailed her eyes down Clarke with a slight smirk on her face before sitting on the ground without saying a word

"So… Do you like it here?" Clarke asked, sitting down next to her

"I suppose."

"How long have you been here?" Clarke tried again

"A while."

"What's your name?"

"You can call me Heda."

"I'm sorry, what?" Clarke asked, not quite understanding the word

"It's my rank."

"I've never heard of the rank Heda before."

"It's in my native tongue."

"Which is?"

"Trigedasleng."

"You sure do talk a lot." Clarke joked

"You sure do fall a lot."

"Only for pretty girls."

"What squadron are you in?" The girl asked, changing the topic

"Skaikru or whatever the hell it's called."

"Would you be the reason why Captain Branwada is in such a foul mood?"

"I don't know what a branwada is but I'm assuming it's Blake so, probably." Clarke grinned, "I'm not very good at the drills."

"Hm." The girl hummed

"Why are you out so late?" Clarke asked

"Why are you?"

"My roomies having sex and I don't want to be there for that." Clarke admitted truthfully

"I come here when I want to be alone."

"Oh. Oh, okay, um I'll just…" Clarke trailed off and climbed to her feet, she walked five metres before hearing a soft voice behind her

"Lexa."

"Sorry?"

"My name. Lexa." The girl said, "You can stay. If you want."

"I think I'd like that, Lexa." Clarke smiled and sat down next to her again

"I'll walk you back to your dorm." Lexa said rather than offered when it got too cold to stay on the track field

"Let me text Octavia first, so I know it's safe." Clarke said, pulling her phone out and sending a quick text

 _11:42pm  
C: Can I come back yet? _

_11:59pm  
O: Not unless you want to see Lincolns bare ass. Sorry, princess._

"Are there any like, spare dorms, or whatever around?" Clarke asked, shoving her phone back into her pocket

"Follow me." Lexa said

"My dorms actually down one and it's not safe, remember?" Clarke said

"I know and I remember. This is my dorm." Lexa held the door open for Clarke

"Where's your roomie?" Clarke asked

"Anya is at her girlfriend's house for the long weekend." Lexa replied

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?" Lexa asked with a raised eyebrow

"Course not. That's fine. Love is love, you know? I'm into girls. Guys as well. I'm into hot people." Clarke rambled, "No problem at all."

"You're rambling Klark Kom Skaikru." Lexa smiled

"Sorry?"

"Klark Kom Skaikru means Clarke of the Sky People." Lexa replied

"I like that language." Clarke smiled, "Do you."

"Ai Laik Leksa Kom Trikru." Lexa smiled, "I am Lexa of the Tree People."

"Leksa." Clarke murmured, missing the shiver that went down Lexa's back, "I like it."

"Carry these." Lexa said, handing Clarke an arm full of blankets "We have a theatre room for recreational use and I happen to have permission to use it whenever I want."

"How do you say goodnight in Trigedasleng?" Clarke asked midway through the movie that Lexa put on, curled up in Lexa's blankets on a recliner chair next to Lexa who was on a two-person couch

"Reshop."

"Reshop, Leksa."

"Goodnight, Clarke."


	2. Chapter 2

"Where the fuck are you?" A hushed voice sounded from Clarke's phone

"What? Who's this?" Clarke croaked, voice rough from sleep

"It's Octavia. Where are you? Bellamy's pissed." Octavia said

"What?" Sleep was hazing Clarke's mind and making it almost impossible for her to understand what Octavia is say

"Give me the phone." Lexa said, holding her hand out for Clarke's phone

"Mmkay." Clarke mumbled, giving Lexa her phone and cuddling back down into the blankets

"Hello, this is Commander Woods." Lexa said professionally, "Mhm. There isn't any mandatory training today. Okay. Yes. Understood. Tell Captain Blake she'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"What?" Clarke asked when Lexa shook her shoulder

"Get up. Apparently Captain Blake wants you on the training field." Lexa said, helping Clarke to her feet

"Why?" Clarke whined, not fully awake

"Drills."

"Oh, that's so gross though."

"Up an at em, Cadet."

* * *

"Princess finally decided to grace us with her presence." Bellamy sneered, "Skaikru, what do we do about tardiness?"

"A burpee, sit up or push up for every minute wasted on waiting for the entire squadron." The squadron replied in sync

"That's fucking bullshit." Clarke scoffed, "It isn't even mandatory training."

"All training is mandatory, Cadet." Bellamy snapped, "Add an extra five laps for your language."

"That fu- "Clarke was cut off by a hand clutching her wrist

"Don't." Lexa whispered softly

"Yes, ma'am, Captain Blake, ma'am." Clarke grumbled, shooting a look at Lexa who ignored her before falling into line between glaring cadets

"What are you doing here, Woods?" Bellamy asked

"Heda Woods, thank-you." Lexa said, arms behind her back "I found Cadet Griffin wandering around looking lost so I thought I might help her as apparently, her captain didn't have the common sense to print out a map of our grounds."

"Bu- "Octavia started

"Did I give you permission to speak, Cadet Corporal Blake?" Lexa snapped, eyes boring into Octavia's until Octavia backed down

"Don't speak to her like th- "Bellamy started with a glare

"Go ahead, finish that sentence. Captain." Lexa said with a straight face as she watched Bellamy back down, "Good. Now, if we're done here I have better ways to waste my time rather than watch Branwada's train."

"Fucking bitch." Bellamy muttered

"When insulting someone do try to make sure they're out of hearing range, Captain." Lexa called over her shoulder

* * *

"What lap are you, Princess?"

"Fourth." Clarke puffed

"Your squadron is waiting for you." Bellamy sneered, "Pick up the pace or add an extra five laps for everybody."

Clarke pushed herself to go a little faster until it felt like her lungs were going to explode from the lack of oxygen entering them. As she finished her last lap, her legs gave out from underneath sending her hurtling to floor with a sickening thud

"Are you hurt?" Bellamy asked, standing above her

"I don't think so." Clarke panted after trying and failing to get her breathing under control

"Good. Thirty burpees." Bellamy turned on his heel and walked away from her

"What the fuck?" Clarke groaned, staying on the floor until she heard Bellamy's sharp whistle and could feel his eyes burning into her before climbing to her feet

After the fifteenth burpee Clarke could feel acid rising in her throat and barely made it to the bushes before she started heaving, having nothing in her stomach to throw up

"What are you doing, Princess?" Bellamy shouted, "Did I say you could take a break?"

"No." Clarke said before another wave of nausea hit her causing her to bend over again

"Then why aren't you doing burpee's? I sure as shit know you haven't finished all thirty."

"Well considering I nearly fucking threw up, I thought I might get over to the bushes first." Clarke snapped

"Nearly threw up?" Bellamy asked

"That's what I just said."

"So you didn't throw up?" Bellamy asked again

"No shit."

"So I'm not hearing a reason you're not doing burpees. A lap on the drill course for laziness." Bellamy turned on his heel and starting walking away, "You better hope Octavia's standards are as high as mine."

Clarke could taste blood in her mouth from biting her tongue hard enough so she didn't say anything back to him.

* * *

"Your brother is a giant fucking butt plug." Clarke groaned, flopping face first onto her bed after stripping down to her underwear

"What?" Octavia asked, looking up from her strategy book

"He made me do the drill course three times before letting me come back." Clarke complained, "My legs collapsed from underneath me when I was climbing the stairs and I nearly fell down them. So not only is he as painful to deal with as a butt plug, he's also a fucking shit."

"I agree." Octavia said, "I might start calling him that, I'm sure he'd love it."

"He might make you do the bullshit I did today."

"Nah, he couldn't even if he tried. The second I pull out the sad eyes he caves." Octavia said with a smug grin, "Being a baby sister has its perks."

"You suck." Clarke's voice was muffled by the pillow

"You going to shower, champ?"

"Maybe later. Don't let your butt plug of a brother bother me, please."

"No promises, princess."

* * *

Clarke was sitting on the edge of her bed in front of a canvas, gently sketching lines on it when the door opened

"Hey, O." Clarke said, not giving Octavia a glance

"I thought I said to get that crap out of my dorms." Bellamy snapped, making Clarke jump

"Aren't you meant to announce yourself before coming into dorms? I could have been naked." Clarke said seriously, turning back to her sketch

"I was looking for Octavia." Bellamy said, picking the canvas off of the stand giving it a glance "What the fuck is this shit?"

"Some people, the ones with half a brain, call it art." Clarke said rolling her eyes, "Put it down, you'll get the canvas dirty."

"We wouldn't want to get it dirty would we." Bellamy sneered, walking over to the open window and threw the canvas out of it "Whoops."

"Do you know how much that fucking canvas costs?" Clarke seethed

"I wouldn't pay five dollars for it."

"A case of twelve costs nine hundred dollars so you've just cost me seventy-five fucking dollars."

"Poor princess with the Doctor mother lost seventy-five dollars." Bellamy pouted, "If you see Octavia, tell her to find me."

"Fuck you." Clarke spat, shoving Bellamy to the side so she could get out of the room

"It's after curfew." Bellamy shouted after Clarke and got the finger over her shoulder

* * *

"Falling for me again, Cadet?" Lexa smiled, arms wrapped tightly around Clarke's waist to stop her from tumbling to the ground

"I'm not in the mood, Leksa." Clarke huffed, regaining her balance and pulling away from Lexa

"What happened?" Lexa frowned

"Captain fucking Blake threw a seventy-five-dollar canvas out of a fourth story building."

"Why? I mean, I know they're not regulation but as long as the Commandant doesn't see them on weekend inspections I usually let my people do whatever they want, within reason." Lexa said

"He's a butt plug."

"A what?"

"A butt plug. A giant pain in the ass covered in shit." Clarke grinned at the look on Lexa's face

"That's disgusting, Clarke." Lexa shook her head, "Come with me."

"You order me around a lot, you never ask."

"Are you complaining?" Lexa asked with a raised eyebrow

"Nah, I find it kind of hot." Clarke winked at Lexa

"So you get hot when Blake tells you to do something?" Lexa said, turning her head so Clarke couldn't see her slight blush

"The only time I get hot for him is in training and that's a hot mess."

"I disagree."

"You're sweet but blind. Where are we going?" Clarke asked, bumping Lexa with her hip playfully

"We're nearly there." Lexa grinned when she felt Clarke slowly get closer to her side, "What are you doing?"

"I'm cold." Clarke said and smiled when she felt Lexa's arm wrap around her waist

"Sook."

* * *

"What is this place?" Clarke asked quietly, looking around the dimly lit room

"The Commandant use to live here but our budget got bigger so the Commandant got better quarters. I guess everyone forgot about this place." Lexa said with an easy smile

"This is amazing." Clarke said, take a step so she was in the middle of the small room

"I'm glad you think so. Apart from us, this place hasn't been touched in something like thirty years." Lexa sat down on the small couch, "There isn't any electric or plumbing but it's nice to come here to think or, in your case, paint."

"Thank you for sharing this with me." Clarke said, sitting next to Lexa, "Really."

"I just want one thing in return." Lexa said

"Yeah?"

"The first thing you paint here, I want it."

"Deal."


	3. Chapter 3

"Clarke, you need to go see the Commandant." Bellamy said softly after pulling her away from the drills

"You know my name?" Clarke mocked

"This is not the time, Clarke. Go to the Commandant."

"Why?" Clarke asked, sensing the seriousness in Bellamy's tone

"You just need to go see her. Now. You're excused from practice and drills until further notice. Go, Cadet, now." Bellamy ordered, gently pushing her in the right direction

* * *

Clarkes heart was beating wildly in her chest as she stepped into the Commandant's reception office, noting the sad look on the receptionists face as she looked at her before noticing a soft sobbing coming from the side of the room. Looking over, Clarke seen Lexa holding a sobbing blonde girl in her arms while whispering words Clarke couldn't hear

"Le-" Clarke started only to be cut off by the receptionist telling her that the Commandant was ready to see her

"Good evening, Cadet Griffin." The Commandant said, "I haven't had the pleasure of introducing myself yet. My name is Indra Forest, and for the purpose of this meeting you're welcome to call me Indra."

"It's, uh, nice to meet you Indra." Clarke said uncertainly, playing with a ring on her finger "Not to be rude, but why am I here?"

"Take a seat, Clarke." Indra gestured to the seat in front of Clarke

"No, thank-you." Clarke said slowly

"I really thin- "Indra started

"What's happened?" Clarke interrupted, "I don't mean to be disrespectful but that's the same thing my mother says when she has bad news for a patient. Same look too, so what's happening?"

"It's your father, Clarke." Indra stood and walked around her desk to stand in front of Clarke

"What about my dad?" Clarke could barely hear from the hammering in her chest

"He got into a bad car accident. The Doctors say it was instantaneous, he didn't feel anything. It was no one's fault; it couldn't have been avoided." Clarke's breathing sped up as her throat burned and her eyes prickled

"No. No, you're lying. My dad's fine. He's fine. Why are you lying?" Clarke's voice slowly rose in volume until she was yelling

"Clarke- "Indra started

"No. No. No. No." Clarke muttered, pacing wildly as her breathes got shorter and shorter

"Clarke, ple- "Indra tried again

"You're lying." Clarke shook her head, "You have to be. Please tell me you're lying, please. Say it's a joke, I'll laugh. I promise I'll laugh just tell me it's a joke, you have to. You have to be lying."

"I'm sorry." Indra shook her head, "You're excused from any and all school related events, classes or anything of the sort. If there's anything I can do to help, my office is open to you."

Clarke's ears started ringing as tears fell rapidly from her eyes, turning on her heel she bolted through the door without a care as to where she was going. She could vaguely hear someone calling after her as well as footsteps following her.

Clarke crashed through a door before she knew what was happening, looking around she recognised the old Commandant's rooms. Collapsing on the couch face down Clarke let the sobs rip from her throat at an almost painful rate. She could feel someone gently lift her up before she was sobbing into a lap and a hand was rubbing her back soothingly but she didn't have the energy to look up or to even care who it was.

By the time Clarke had managed to calm herself down enough that she could see through the tears clouding her eyes, she noticed that the sky outside was pitch black with the moon high. Clarke slowly sat up, breath still coming in shuddering gasps as she looked around

"It's okay, Clarke. You're safe." Lexa whispered, dropping her hand onto Clarke's knee

"Lex, my dad he-he-" Clarke tried to say before Lexa cut her off

"I know, Hodnes, I know." Lexa let Clarke drape her arms around her neck as the blonde dry sobbed against her chest, "Clarke, you'll make yourself sick."

No sooner had the words left her mouth that Clarke started painfully gagging at the force of her sobs

"Come on." Lexa said, pulling Clarke to her feet

"Where are we going?" Clarke asked between shuddering breaths and gags

"Trust me." Lexa said, wrapping her arm tightly around Clarke's waist

* * *

"Put this on and wait in here." Lexa said, handing Clarke a small bundle

Clarke slowly got dressed in what Lexa gave her, not taking notice of what she was putting on

"You decent?" Lexa called through the door and only opened it when Clarke replied the positive, "Okay, it's going to seem weird but just trust me okay?"

"Okay." Clarke's voice was raspy and barely there

"I lost someone special to me once too. "Lexa admitted, "Anya, my best friend, done this with me and it made me feel better if only for a moment."

"Okay." Clarke repeated again and grabbed Lexa's out stretched hand and followed her through the small apartment

"Get in." Lexa said, gesturing to the bubble bath filled nearly to the brim

"What?" Clarke asked, "But your clothes- "

"Bikini." Lexa said, "It's fine."

"Oh." Clarke mumbled, covering her stomach with her hands when she noticed before climbing into the bath tub

"You trust me, right?" Lexa asked, nervously biting her lip

"Mhm." Clarke hummed and had to stop herself from gasping when Lexa climb in behind her, "What are you doing?"

"Just relax and trust me." Lexa whispered, rubbing Clarke's back reassuringly

It took ten minutes of soft hands rubbing her back and shoulders before Clarke let herself fully relax against Lexa who let her chin rest on Clarke's shoulder and her hands on Clarke's stomach

"Does it stop hurting?" Clarke asking quietly

"I don't know." Lexa admitted, "I don't know."

"Who did you lose?" Clarke asked, "If you don't mind."

"My uncle, Gustus. My parents died in war so he took early leave from an Elite Ground Force to care for me, loved me like his own. He raised me from a moody eight-year-old to an even moodier fifteen-year-old."

"What happened?"

"He was called back for one last black ops mission and he never came back. MIA for four years now." Lexa spoke softly, flinching slightly when she felt Clarke's head turn on her shoulder and Clarke's nose brush against her neck

"I'm sorry." Clarke murmured

"I know. So am I, Clarke." Lexa replied

"Does it stop hurting?"

"I don't know." Lexa shook her head, "I don't know."

"Mm." Clarke hummed, resting her hands on top of Lexa's

They got out when the water turned lukewarm, Lexa leaving Clarke in the bathroom to dry herself while she done the same in the bedroom.

"Here." Lexa said, handing Clarke a large bundle of clothes

"Thanks." Clarke murmured, changing into the pair of loose track pants and jumper

"Come here." Lexa said, sitting on her bed and patting next to her

"Why is your dorm so big?" Clarke asked, sitting next to Lexa

"I live here throughout the entire year, Indra wanted to make sure I was comfortable. I didn't like being alone so Anya moved in." Lexa explained, "You tired?"

"Yeah, but I don't know if I can sleep." Clarke shrugged

"That's fine." Lexa laid back and pulled Clarke against her side, "Movie?"

"Sure. You pick though." Clarke let herself relax against Lexa's side with her head on Lexa's chest, one arm across her stomach

"I am the worst decision maker ever." Lexa groaned

"Just pick."

"It will literally take me an hour to pick, it'll save us both a lot of frustration if you pick." Lexa argued

"Fine." Clarke huffed, "Harry Potter?"

* * *

Lexa woke up before Clarke to find the blonde curled into her, a leg thrown over her hips and hands tightly gripping her own. Lexa closed her own eyes again and waited for Clarke to wake up

"Was it a dream?" Clarke asked quietly, eyes still closed

"I'm sorry, Clarke." Lexa whispered, pressing her forehead to the top of Clarke's head and tightened her grip on Clarke's hands when she felt a silent sob shake Clarke's body

"Okay." Clarke said softly her voice shaking as she moved closer to Lexa

"What do you want to do?" Lexa asked

"Stay here, forever." Clarke said, "Pretend everything's okay."

"Okay." Lexa said, moving to get up only to be stopped when Clarke gripped onto her tightly

"Don't leave." Clarke whispered

"I'm not. I'm ringing Indra to tell her that I won't be attending classes or practice today and to tell Lincoln to take over drills." Lexa said, leaning down to kiss Clarke's head "I'll be back in five minutes."

"Okay." Clarke slowly let go of Lexa

"I'm back." Lexa said, sitting on her bed holding two bottles of water and a plate filled with toast, "Eat."

"I'm not hungry." Clarke said

"Eat." Lexa insisted

"Bu- "

"Clarke, I can do this all day." Lexa interrupted, "Eat."

"Okay." Clarke grumbled and started nibbling at a piece of toast

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lexa asked when Clarke finished a piece of toast and half a bottle of water

"No." Clarke shook her head, "Can we just…"

"Yes?"

"I don't know, cuddle?" Clarke blushed

"Anything you want, Clarke." Lexa said, wrapping an arm around Clarke's waist as she laid down

"I know I should ring my mum but I just… I don't know what to say." Clarke admitted

"You should." Lexa said, passing Clarke her phone "Whenever you're ready."

* * *

"Hey mum… Yeah, I know… Yeah… Okay… I, uh, I love you mum." Clarke choked out, "I'll see you soon, okay? I love you."

"You okay?" Lexa asked when Clarke hung up

"No." Clarke replied honestly, silent tears streaming down her cheeks

"I know."


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa woke to soft murmuring next to her, cracking an eye open she seen Clarke sitting up with a phone pressed to her ear and Lexa could see Clarke struggling to keep the emotion from her face. Lexa rolled over until her head was in Clarke's lap and reached up to bring the hand holding Clarke's necklace down to lace between hers

"You okay?" Lexa whispered when Clarke put the phone down

"His phone's been deactivated." Clarke said, a frown on her face as she concentrated on their hands

"I'm sorry, Clarke."

"He's been dead less than forty-eight hours and she's already disconnected his phone."

"Maybe it's just flat." Lexa tried weakly

"It's whatever though. It's fine. I'm fine." Clarke sniffed and ran one hand through Lexa's hair, "Can we go somewhere?"

"It's dark out, Clarke."

"Yeah, I know. I just… I need to do something, go somewhere. Anywhere." Clarke sighed

"You better hope your trainings boosted your stamina, Cadet." Lexa stood up, pulling Clarke with her before quickly getting a full backpack from her closet

* * *

"You going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope."

"How long is this going to take?"

"If you can keep up, just a little over an hour."

"We've been walking through this damn forest for so long the suns rising, did you get us lost?" Clarke complained, stomping through the forest

"I know exactly where we're going, don't worry." Lexa said, offering Clarke her hand to step over a log

"How much longer?" Clarke grumbled, not letting go of Lexa's hand but twining her fingers through Lexa's

"About ten minutes."

"Ugh." Clarke huffed, "I have twigs in my hair, my knees still hurt from falling over-"

"I still don't know how you managed to fall over. There was nothing there. Nothing."

"-Shut up, Leksa- and I'm hungry. Did you bring snacks?"

"Nah, but I have my knife and I hear there's plenty of deer in this forest."

Lexa was pulled to a sudden stop by Clarke who had a disgusted look on her face

"Oh come on, I'm kidding." Lexa said, pulling Clarke back into step with her

"You have a sick sense of humour. Haven't you seen Bambi? It's not okay to joke about things like that."

"Haven't seen it." Lexa said only to pulled to a rough stop again, "Okay, you need to stop that before it becomes a habit."

"What do you mean you haven't watched Bambi?"

"I grew up with a military people. You think they're going to sit around and watch weird talking animal movies?" Lexa asked

"What did you watch then?"

"War documentaries, stuff like that."

"We're going to fix that when we get ba- Oh my god, we have to walk all the way back again." Clarke groaned

"Be quiet, we're here." Lexa pulled Clarke out of the forest to a small cliffs edge

"If you want to push me off a cliff after that fucking hike that is just bad form." Clarke said, "Although the thought of walking back makes me not mind that much."

Lexa ignored her in favour of crouching down in front of her backpack to pull out a small picnic blanket out to set on floor with a couple bottles of water

"You got food in there?" Clarke asked, peeking inside the backpack

"Crackers, dried fruit, trail mix, and canned chicken." Lexa said, pulling the items out as she said them

"Canned chicken?"

"It tastes better than it looks and sounds, trust me." Lexa sat on the blanket with a pack of trail mix, "Hurry up or you're going to miss it."

"Miss what?" Clarke asked, sitting next to Lexa

"That." Lexa pointed at the sunrise, red and orange slowly melting into purple and blue

"Whoa."

* * *

"Lexa?" Clarke asked, turning to look at Lexa who had fallen asleep, "Oh."

"I'm awake, Clarke, just very sleepy." Lexa murmured, not opening her eyes

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I'm your friend."

"Yeah, but why? You didn't need to help me with the Octavia thing, you didn't need to help bail me out with Bellamy, you keep… Saving me for no reason."

"I like you." Lexa cracked one eye open to look at Clarke, "You don't treat me like the Heda, you treat me like a person. I like you."

"What do you mean?"

"The other captains are either scared of me or are jealous because I've managed to reach a rank no one else has. The cadets are scared of me because of my rank and because of my training methods. No one cares about what I'm really like, who I really am because all I'll ever be is the hard ass bitch who cares about nothing but the academy."

"How did you become a Commander?" Clarke asked

"You've heard of reapers, yes?" Lexa waited for Clarke to answer, "Hasn't Bellamy told you about them? I need to speak to him. Reapers are… They're not human. Well they are but their minds are extremely warped from a synthetic drug called The Red, turns them into cannibals with the power of three men."

"Why don't the authorities do anything about them?" Clarke asked

"They don't have the training and it's out of their control. The special forces usually take care of them. So anyway, about four years ago a group of them attacked the campus. Laid waste to it. I remember sneaking away from my captain, I don't know why but I felt like I needed to get to Indra. When I got to her office there were two of them in there and she was on the floor, bleeding. I don't know what happened but the next thing I know the reapers are dead, I'm half way dead and Indra hasn't moved. So I manage to get Indra to the medic and a week later, I'm the first student Commander." Lexa finished her story, eyes still closed "I still have scars."

"Can I see?" Clarke asked before she could stop herself, "I'm so-"

"Don't be." Lexa said, lifting her shirt up to reveal three thick, white scars running across her abdomen

"Holy shit." Clarke reached out to run her fingers over the scars, "Do they hurt?"

"Not anymore." Lexa opened her eyes to find Clarke closer than expected

"Don't worry, they're hardly noticeable with the whole… Abs situation." Clarke said, eyes not lifting from Lexa's stomach where her hand was splayed out

Lexa closed her eyes again only to feel Clarke's forehead press against her own and Clarke's nose rub against hers

"What are you doing?" Lexa whispered, voice cracking slightly

"I'm going to kiss you." Clarke replied, pressing her lips against Lexa's softly, slowly deepening the kiss before Lexa suddenly pulled away

"Not like this." Lexa shook her head, "Not when you're hurting."

"I want this." Clarke argued

"You want to forget." Lexa shook her head, "I won't take advantage of you like that, Clarke."

"I want you." Clarke tried again even though she knew rationally that Lexa was right

"Get some sleep, Clarke, we have a long walk back."

* * *

"Where have you two been?" Indra asked between clenched teeth when Lexa and Clarke entered Lexa's room

"Some place quiet." Lexa answered

"Abby Griffin has been on the phone all day trying to find her daughter and you tell me you _took her some place quiet_?" Indra seethed

"It's not her faul-" Clarke started to defend Lexa to be silenced by a glare from Indra

"Give your mother a call." Indra said before stepping out of the small dorm

"Can I- "Clarke didn't manage to finish her question before Lexa handed her phone over

"Hey mum? Yeah it's me. I'm using a friend's phone, mine -What? Yeah, I'm good – my phones flat. What did you want? Why would I get angry, what did you do?" Lexa watched as Clarke's face slowly became stormy with anger, "What the _fuck_ do you mean? _No,_ I won't watch my _fucking language_. I swear to god, if this isn't some kind of sick joke I will _never_ forgive you. I'm over- I'm over reacting?"

Lexa watched as Clarke started pacing while clenching the fist that wasn't holding her phone

"No. No." Clarke shook her head, stopping in front of Lexa "Don't you dare try to speak to me ever again because I can promise that you won't like the response you get. You're dead to me."

"You, uh, you okay?" Lexa asked hesitantly

"I need one of two things from you right now and neither of them is to talk." Clarke said lowly

"Okay?"

"I need you to either make me forget my own fucking name in bed or I need you to take me down to the fucking gym and kick my ass." Clarke said between clenched teeth, "It's up to you."

"By kick your ass-" Lexa started

"I mean you're going to show me the way you train your squadron in hand to hand combat." Clarke interrupted

"I'll go get my hand wraps." Lexa said after a minute of silence

* * *

"I don't know about this, Clarke." Lexa said uneasily as she stood in front of Clarke in her work out gear and hand wraps, "I don't want to hurt you."

"If you're not going to fuck me or fight me I will find someone else to do it, Leksa." Clarke threatened

"Okay, okay. Just tell me if I hurt you, okay? Don't ignore it just because you're mad."

"Okay, whatever." Clarke huffed before lunging at Lexa who quickly dodged her and pushed Clarke forward, sending her to the ground

"You need to calm down." Lexa said, helping Clarke to her feet "Anger clouds the mind and makes you make rash decisions."

"Also helps in kicking people's asses." Clarke grunted when Lexa caught her fist and kicked her feet out from underneath her

"It makes you predictable." Lexa helped Clarke to her feet again only to slam her back down when Clarke lunged at her again, "Calm down and I will help you."

"Help me what?"

"Kick my ass." Lexa grinned, "Are you calm? Okay, good, always wait for your opponent to attack first so you can try to find a weak spot if they have one."

"How do I do that?" Clarke asked

"Watch their body language. Watch the way they move. Just watch them and memorise it."

"What's your weak spot?"

"Find it for yourself." Lexa said and rushed at Clarke who barely managed to defend herself in time

* * *

They continued sparring for longer than either of them realised, Clarke ending up on the mat more times than she'd care to admit and Lexa ending up on the mat once, Clarke not far behind her when Bellamy walked into the gym

"So you can train with the enemy but not your squadron, Princess?" Bellamy asked, folding his arms across his chest

"Bell, don't." Octavia said, putting her hand on his shoulder

"Yes, _Bell._ Don't." Lexa warned

"No, I want to know why she can train with the mighty Heda and not her own."

"Because the _mighty Heda_ actually shows me how to defend myself, not crawl under barbed wire." Clarke rolled her eyes

"If you are not in training tomorrow morning, I will submit an official complaint to the Commandant. Now get out, I have this space booked."

"Captain Blake." Lexa started, straightening her spine "Cadet Griffin is not required back to any formal or unformal training until next month, orders of Indra herself."

"Who are you tell me what the Commandant orders?" Bellamy seethed

"Your superior." Lexa snapped, "Don't forget who you take orders from, Blake, I can assure you that it will not end pretty."

"You can't-"

"Yes, I can." Lexa interrupted, green eyes boring into black "Do we need to go over this again? I'm sure Indra won't be pleased."

"Just hide behind the Commandant, that's all you're good at." Bellamy snarled

Lexa simply sighed and shook her head before marching towards Bellamy, hitting him in the stomach and bringing her elbow down hard on his back as he bent over in pain, sending him crashing to the floor before kicking him square in the face hard enough to make him flip onto his back

"Is there anyone else who shares Captain Blake's thoughts?" Lexa asked, standing in front of the Skaikru squadron who all remained silent as they watched their Captain slowly get to his knees, his nose pouring with blood "Good. Come, Clarke."

* * *

"That was amazing." Clarke gushed, "He's like three times the size of you and you brought him down like it was nothing."

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Clarke."

"I'm not. You're badass." Clarke said, knocking into Lexa

"Do you feel better now?" Lexa asked, changing the subject

"A little." Clarke nodded, "Still furious but I don't feel like punching anything anymore."

"What got you so worked up anyway?"

"Mother decided that I wasn't needed at my dad's funeral, said she thought that it might be too much for me." Clarke said, looking away from Lexa

"That is – Maybe – She might of just – "Lexa struggled to find words

"See? Even you can't see the logic in that." Clarke shook her head, "But whatever, let's talk about how you kicked Bellamy's ass."

"He needed to be taken down a peg." Lexa said, shrugging and opened her dorm door waiting for Clarke to go in before walking in after her "I graduate at the end of this year so I couldn't miss what could have been my last opportunity."

"You graduate this year?" Clarke asked

"Well, yeah." Lexa said, "Sorry, I thought you knew? I did say that the reaper thing happened four years ago."

"You done that in your _second year_?" Clarke asked, surprise colouring her voice

"How long do you think I've been here for?" Lexa laughed

"From the womb, honestly." Clarke replied

"Just five years." Lexa shrugged

"Wait, how old are you?"

"I'm turning eighteen in a couple months. How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"You would have thought we'd know each other's ages at this point. On the bright side, you're only here for two more years."

"What are you doing after graduation?" Clarke asked

"Enlist in the army, probably. I mean, that's kinda the whole point of going to this school."

"That's dangerous though, you could _die_." Clarke said, "Can't you be like, a business women or something?"

"That's actually a good idea, Lexy, you'd look damn fine in a lady suit." A voice from the kitchen said, making Clarke jump

"Shof op, Onya." Lexa groaned

"Disha is yun gada?" Anya asked, leaning against the door frame in a white singlet, red underwear with a bowl of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other

"No, leida Onya." Lexa said pointedly

"Shof op, branwada, Ai em choj sanch op." Anya said with a grin, bringing the spoon up to her lips

"Dei is az-crema." Lexa deadpanned, "Gon we."

"Beja, Snacha." Anya scoffed, sitting down next to Clarke

"I asked you not to call me that." Lexa grumbled, switching to English

"Stop doing your war paint like a raccoon and I will. Maybe." Anya said, "Are you going to introduce me?"

"Clarke, this branwada is Anya, my roommate." Lexa said

"Roommate, best friend, light of her life, reason for her being, etcetera." Anya said, grinning at Clarke, "I've heard all about, Skai Prisa."

"I'm so confused."

"I was just asking Lexa here if you were her g- "Anya was cut off by Lexa lunging over Clarke at her

"Shof op." Lexa hissed, covering Anya's mouth with her hand

"I really need to learn Trigedasleng." Clarke mumbled, "It's nice to meet you, Anya."

"You too, Skai Prisa." Anya winked at her

"How's Reyes?" Lexa asked

"Doctors say she'll never get full use of her leg again so she's a bit bummed but she's working on a brace for it. She should be here pretty soon." Anya said, eyes flicking to Clarke, "But maybe I should tell her not to."

"Son of a bitch." A small dark headed girl burst through the door way, bend over and panting, "Why the fuck is your room so high up, god damn."

"We have an elevator." Anya said, walking over to the girl and kissed her on the lips "You should use it."

"And eventually lose my amazing ass?" The girl scoffed, "I think not."

"Hello, Raven." Lexa said, drawing attention to herself and Clarke

"What's up, Commander and Co?" Raven smiled, "Long time no see."

"Raven, this is Clarke. Clarke Griffin." Lexa said, watching as the smile left Raven's face and her eyes filled with sorrow

"Oh." Raven said quietly, eyes on Clarke

"I've not had that reaction before." Clarke joked uncomfortably

"Clarke, Raven was uh, the night your dad – Um, Raven was there. That night." Lexa said

"What do you mean?"

"I um," Raven cleared her throat, "I'm the one that crashed into your dad. I'm so sorry, Clarke."

"Okay." Clarke nodded, "It couldn't have been avoided right? That's what the Doctors said."

"Well, no, my wheel seized for no apparent reason." Raven scratched her head, "But still, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." Clarke shrugged, "Sorry about your leg. I'm just, uh, I'm going to go have a sleep. I'm pooped."

Instead of leaving like Anya and Raven thought she was going to, Clarke started walking towards Lexa's room with Lexa not far behind her

"Why didn't you tell me they were together?" Raven asked, sitting next to Anya

"They're not. Lexa insists they're just friends."

 **Shof op, Onya - Shut up, Anya**

 **Disha is yun gada - This is your girl?**

 **Leida, Onya - Goodbye, Anya**

 **Shof op, branwada, Ai em choj sanch op - Shut up, fool, I'm eating lunch**

 **Dei is az-crema, gon we - That is ice cream, go away**

 **Beja, snacha - Please, raccoon**


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you okay?" Lexa asked, sitting with her legs splayed out in front of her and a hand resting on the small of Clarkes back

"I don't know." Clarkes voice was mumbled by the pillow her face was buried in

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not angry at Raven, she couldn't have helped what happened. But I am because my dad's dead. But it wasn't her fault. But that doesn't bring him back. I'm confused about how I'm meant to feel." Clarke explained, turning her head so she could look at Lexa

"It's completely understandable that you'd feel anger or resentment towards Raven, even though you know that it wasn't her fault." Lexa said, "Especially since it's still so fresh and you never expected to meet the other person involved."

"She's your roomies girlfriend, right?" Clarke asked

"Yeah."

"Guess I'll have to get used to being around her then." Clarke sighed, flipping over so she was on her back

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I like your dorm more than my own and I'm not planning on giving this place up until you graduate." Clarke explained before standing up

"You don't have to get used to her just yet."

"No time like the present, right?"

* * *

"Hey, we were just going to grab some lunch. Would you two like to join?" Clarke asked, walking back into the small living room

"Uh," Anya stuttered, looking at Lexa who nodded "Sure, what are we having?"

"I'm thinking burgers. Do you know any good burger places, Raven?"

"Uh, yeah there's, um, the one in town. Ton DC or something." Raven said uncertainly

"Great, let's go." Clarke replied cheerfully, grabbing Lexa's hand and dragged her out of the dorm with the other two girls following be uncertainly

* * *

"What do you do, Raven?" Clarke asked from the passenger seat, leaning around to look at Raven

"I just finished my Engineering degree at MIT."

"Wait, how old are you?" Clarke asked

"Raven's a literal genius." Anya said proudly, "Youngest to receive their Graduate degree, ever."

"I'm twenty." Raven said, rolling her eyes at Anya, "What do you do, Clarke?"

"Well before coming to this shit hole- "Clarke was interrupted by Lexa clearing her throat, "I was studying visual arts at Fiorello in New York."

"And after this?"

"I don't know. I was riding on Fiorello to get into an Ivy League College for visual arts but that's gone down the drain so I guess I have to think of something else." Clarke shrugged, "What about you, Anya?"

"Enlisting, like most of the other jarheads at our academy." Anya shrugged, "Hopefully get put into Leksa's squadron."

"I'm not going to have a squadron, Onya." Lexa rolled her eyes, "Not straight away, despite what you think."

"Have you ever thought of doing anything else?" Clarke asked

"Nope." Lexa said, quickly pulling into a parking spot

"Maybe you should." Clarke said quietly, smiling at Lexa who rolled her eyes

"Maybe." Lexa murmured quiet enough that Clarke barely heard her

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready to go back to duty?" Lexa asked softly, sitting snuggly against Clarke on the blondes small single bed

"Probably not, but I want to start training again. Might take my mind off things." Clarke shrugged, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder

"I could start training you in hand to hand combat after your afternoon training." Lexa suggested, tentatively taking Clarke's hand in her own

"That sounds nice." Clarke said quietly, tilting her head up to look at Lexa "Lexa?"

"Yes?" Lexa murmured, looking down at Clarke and jolted her head back when she realised how close they were. Clarke smiled softly before slowly leaning up to press her lips lightly against the brunettes.

"Was that okay?" Clarke whispered

"Yeah." Lexa breathed, leaning back into Clarke

"Get off my back Bellam-Oh. Oh wow, okay." The door slammed open, followed by Octavia's voice "Coulda put the sock on the door, Princess."

"It's not – We weren't – What are you doing here Octavia? Shouldn't you be at drills?" Clarke stuttered, trying to make herself stop blushing

"So should you." A deep voice sounded from behind Octavia, "If you're well enough to hook up with the _mighty heda,_ you're well enough to run drills."

"Don't worry, he was just giving me the same dad speech." Octavia grinned, sitting on the edge of her bed with her chin in her hand looking at the two girls

"Why are you looking at us like that?" Clarke asked

"Cause I'm happy."

"Why?"

"Just am." Octavia continued to smile at them

"I'm just… I'm going to go. I'll call you later, Clarke." Lexa said, sending a small smile Clarke's way before climbing off the bed and shoving Bellamy with her shoulder on her way out

"So…" Octavia grinned, "How long has that been happening?"

"I expect you on the obstacle at 0400 hours' cadet." Bellamy snapped, turning on his heel and slamming the door closed

"He's such a drama queen." Octavia rolled her eyes, "So, tell me everything."

"There's nothing to tell." Clarke insisted

"Your cheeks tell me otherwise."

"That was the first thing that's happened between us."

"Do you like her?"

"I don't know. I guess."

"Does she like you?"

"I don't know."

"Is it going to happen again?"

"I hope so."

"How did it start?"

"I don't know. She's been good to me from the beginning and she's helped me a lot over the last month or so. It also helped that she handed Bellamy his ass on a platter." Clarke grinned at the memory

"That was pretty sexy. I know he's my brother and all but it felt so good watching him get taken off of his high horse." Octavia agreed


End file.
